From Supporting Character to Main Character: My Journey of Rediscovery
There’s a certain kind of magic in the moment you realize it’s time to rewrite your story. For years, I lived in the background of my own life, pouring everything I had into others while leaving myself with the scraps. As a wife, a community leader, a friend who always answered the phone—no matter how heavy my own heart felt—I mastered the art of giving while forgetting to receive.
But at some point, all that giving wore me down.
I’ll be real with you. I was the wife who tried to be everything—supportive, present, loving—until I had nothing left to give. I led women’s groups, hoping to inspire them to be their best selves, while barely recognizing my own reflection. I was the “strong friend,” the one who everyone leaned on, only to discover that many weren’t there to support me in return.
To top it off, I worked tirelessly in a career that I thought was my dream—until I realized I was being undervalued, overworked, and underpaid. Each of these roles, relationships, and routines left me drained and questioning my worth. Eventually, it all caught up to me. Depression knocked at my door, and for a while, it stayed.
Relearning Myself
Therapy became my lifeline. It was through those sessions that I began to unravel the lies I’d been telling myself—that I wasn’t enough unless I was giving, fixing, or sacrificing. I learned to see myself the way others did: as a strong, capable, and vibrant woman who deserved joy without needing to earn it through endless service to others.
After my divorce, I took a two-year hiatus from everything and everyone. No more people-pleasing. No more overextending. I set boundaries that were foreign but necessary, and for the first time, I chose me.
Pouring Into Me
The decision to prioritize myself wasn’t easy—it felt selfish at first, but soon it felt essential. I started to show up for myself with the same energy I gave to everyone else. Therapy sessions turned into self-discovery trips, and self-discovery trips turned into a full-blown Eat, Pray, Love experience.
I traveled to places that made my soul come alive. I journaled, meditated, and reconnected with the version of me I’d buried under years of obligation. I redefined what it meant to live a life that felt free, bold, and unapologetically mine.
Bit by bit, I began to feel lighter. Happiness, which had felt like a fleeting guest in my life, started to linger. Confidence returned, not because of validation from others but because I trusted myself to make decisions that honored my needs and desires.
My Main Character Era
Now, I’m fully stepping into my main character era, and let me tell you—it feels amazing. I’m showing up for myself, loving myself, and unapologetically chasing the life I deserve. I’ve embraced the fact that my needs aren’t a burden and that prioritizing myself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.
If you’re reading this and feeling stuck in the background of your own story, I want to remind you of this: You are worthy of a life that feels good to you. Whether it’s setting boundaries, leaving toxic spaces, or finally booking that solo trip you’ve been dreaming about, it’s time to make yourself a priority.
Steps to Start Your Main Character Era
Set Boundaries and Stick to Them: Your time and energy are valuable. Start saying “no” to things that don’t serve you.
Invest in Your Growth: Therapy, books, or even time spent journaling—find tools that help you reconnect with yourself.
Celebrate Yourself Daily: Big wins, small wins, and everything in between. Start noticing your greatness.
Take Risks for You: Whether it’s a career change, a solo trip, or simply trying something new, do it for you.
Surround Yourself With Uplifting People: Cut ties with anyone who drains your energy and find those who pour into you.
Your main character era is waiting for you to claim it. It’s your turn to take center stage, to love yourself fiercely, and to create a life that feels as beautiful as you are.
Let’s write this next chapter together.
